The Stream: Bland leads and bad supporting performances.

The Big Screen: Decent chemistry for a sweet romantic comedy.

The Final Bill: Fine but forgettable Hallmark movie.

– Trip Fontaine
Director: Matthew López
Writers: Matthew López and Ted Malawer based on a novel by Casey McQuiston
Stars: Nicholas Galitzine, Taylor Zakhar Perez, Uma Thurman, Sarah Shahi, Rachel Hilson, Clifton Collins Jr.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rating: R for some sexual content, partial nudity and language
Runtime: 1 hour and 58 minutes
Production Companies: Amazon Studios, Berlanti Productions
Platform: On Prime Video August 11, 2023

We all need romance, Streamers. If we can’t get it in real-life, then at least we can live vicariously through the movies. Let’s be honest though – there are a lot of terrible romantic comedies. Well, the adaptation of the popular romance novel Red, White & Royal Blue dropped on Prime Video this month, and here’s whether it’s another terrible entry into the romantic comedy cannon or something else.

Based on a novel of the same name, Red, White & Royal Blue follows Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez), the son of the President of the United States, and his tumultuous relationship with Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine), the spare to the British throne.  Alex and Henry do not like each other as evidenced by a silly fight at Henry’s brother’s wedding, which ends up with them destroying the wedding cake. Alex is tasked by his mother, President Ellen Claremont (Uma Thurman), with repairing U.S./British relations by posing as friends with Henry through joint public appearances and interviews. Through these joint appearances, Alex and Henry get to know each other on a personal level and begin to develop a real friendship. Romantic comedy and oddly political hijinks ensue.

Apparently, Amazon Studios wanted to get in on Hallmark movie game because Red, White & Royal Blue is no better than any of those run-of-the-mill Hallmark TV movies. I never read the novel this movie was based on, so I can’t say whether it’s faithful to the page, but it doesn’t seem original or clever. It’s not offensively bad, but it’s also not good enough to spend too much time on. If you know the premise of the movie, you know every single beat that is going to happen – no surprises. The leads are fine, if a little bland. They have enough chemistry to believe that they’d find each other somewhat interesting. The supporting characters leave a lot to be desired though. A lot of the performances border on laughably bad. Sarah Shahi plays the deputy chief of staff for the president. She is very bad in this movie. In fact, she has one of the worst acted scenes in a movie I’ve seen this year. Uma Thurman also has a ridiculous “southern” accent, which just adds to eye-rolling farce of her being the President. Also, the budget must have been very limited. I was surprised at how bad some CGI is – for instance, the obvious green screen shots are jarring. There really isn’t much to say about this movie, which ends up being pretty forgettable.

Ultimately, Red, White & Royal Blue is just a Hallmark movie in Amazon Studios clothing. There really isn’t anything special about this movie that sets it apart from that romantic comedy/drama genre. In fact, the more Hallmark dabbles in queer relationships in its movies, the less this movie gets to be relevant. The leads are fine, but some of the supporting performances are bad. Just a handful of popcorn for this one – watch if you’re bored.