Antlers Was Straight Roadkill

The Stream: Subpar in every category

The Big Screen: ……. *crickets* it’s definitely weird

The Final Bill: A struggling storyline only enhanced by a lack of scares

– S2S: Movie Review
Director: Scott Cooper
Writers: Henry Chaisson (screenplay by), Nick Antosca (screenplay by), Scott Cooper (screenplay by)
Stars: Keri Russell, Jesse Plemons, Jeremy T. Thomas
Genre: Drama, Horror, Mystery
Rating: R
Runtime: 1 hour 35 minutes
Production Companies: Fox Searchlight Pictures, Phantom Four Films, Double Dare You (DDY)
Platform: Released in theaters October 29, 2021
Notable Trailers: Matrix Resurrections, Scream, The Black Phone, The King’s Man, Nightmare Alley

It’s Halloween week, and so I had to go see at least one of the horror movies that released this week. I had the displeasure of watching, Antlers. Antlers depicts an isolated Oregon town, whose land seems to have a dark secret – a diabolical spirit who comes back to wreak havoc in the community. Can a a middle-school teacher and her sheriff brother save the town? Shock and awe. Oh, I can’t wait to slam this movie.

Typically, I do not do this even to bad movies, but this movie was shockingly awful. There is only one positive in that the concept of this is weird, but, unfortunately, the execution is just subpar. It’s one of those movies where the production is legitimate, there are actors who have true acting ability, and yet the final product is just so lifeless. This movie’s plot is only made worse by the lame subplot of the main characters trying to protect a kid because he reminds them of themselves. The CGI was a bad. The movie only had maybe two scares or jump scares at max. The story felt so pointless and insignificant that I question just how bad this movie was prior to editing. No, seriously, the producers, directors, editors, etc. looked at this final product and said, “Yep, that’s the one”. Uh, no sir it is not! They had to have cut out something of quality. Show me the deleted scenes! Somebody Snyder or Rob Zombie cut this movie. We have a “diabolical spirit” that we literally see for maybe two minutes. You read that correctly. Two minutes of the big bad actually being big and bad. They left you to imagine what this creature was going to look like in it’s full glory the rest of the time, but it doesn’t even pay off, except for 10 seconds of its face. I mean who really makes a movie about a scary thing and 92% of the movie it’s not even in full effect. We had to look at the creature developing for a solid 20 minutes and while a little gross it was basically the morphing of the bad guy (Hector Hammond) in Green Lantern when he had Paralax growing in him. I’ll hop off that and go back to how boring the storyline was. Basically, this stinky kid in school, who draws scary pics, has a teacher that notices that something is wrong but no one else cares at all, so she follows up. THAT’S LITERALLY IT. The mystery is no one cares about this kid! They touched on abuse and neglect, but they never explored it. Do people not know how to play on fears anymore?! Honestly, I’m not even sure how this movie lasts the entire runtime. How did Keri and Jesse sign on to this movie? Ok, I’m done and you should be too. (Side note: if someone’s house stinks really bad when you enter it, just don’t go in.)

S2S: Official Rating Scale

Needless to say, Antlers is not worth watching in the theaters at all. It’s not scary, the storyline goes nowhere, the little bit of goriness doesn’t begin to save this movie. This is an un-popped kernel of corn at best for the theaters. Do not not waste your time or money on this BUT if this were to come to Tubi and you are severely bored 3 years from now, then maybe watch it. Legitimately the trailers were better than the movie.