Ambulance Chases Away Logic with a Lot of Action and Gyllenhaal

The Stream: Completely ridiculous and way too long.

The Big Screen: Jake Gyllenhaal understands the assignment.

The Final Bill: Packed with action and a dumb story.

– Trip Fontaine
Director: Michael Bay
Writers: Chris Fedak
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza González
Genre: Action, Crime, Drama
Rating: R for intense violence, bloody images and language throughout
Runtime: 2 hours 14 minutes
Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Endeavor Content, New Republic Pictures, Bay Films, Project X Entertainment
Platform: In theaters April 8, 2022
Trailers: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Elvis, Firestarter, Jurassic World Dominion

*sirens*

What was that?

*more sirens*

Did you hear that, Streamers?

*Loud, continuous sirens*

I guess that ambulance from Ambulance is still on the run. I guess those coppers aren’t gonna take those thieves alive! Okay, so, I’m still immersed in Michael Bay’s latest action flick, Ambulance. April is that weird time for movie releases that are pos-Oscar season and pre-Summer movie season. It can either be a complete dumping ground or a bright spot in a slow season. Let’s see what the action movie gods have given.

Ambulance is pretty simple and exactly what it advertises itself to be. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Danny, a fast-talking bank robber, who is on the verge of pulling off his biggest heist; and, of course, it’s a sure thing. He enlists his brother, Will (Yahya Abdul-Mateen, II), who has gotten away from the life of crime, but he needs money for his wife’s surgery. Things don’t go as Danny has planned, so an ambulance gets hijacked. Car chases, shootouts and a lot of yelling ensues.

If you want logic and reason from your movies, then why are you going to see a Michael Bay movie. This movie makes no sense, periodt. This heist is destined to fail as advertised. There are injuries that have to be healed on the fly in the back of this ambulance during a highspeed chase through the relatively empty streets of Los Angeles! Why is this happening?!?!? There are too many characters, and then this movie is over two hours long. Nevertheless, Jake Gyllenhaal knows this is completely ridiculous and he goes way over-the-top with his performance. It’s the best kind of Gyllenhaal performance – he’s totally committed to it. Gyllenhaal is on the same wavelength of all of the chasing and the bullets flying. It, mercifully, is never boring.

S2S: Official Rating Scale

Ultimately, Ambulance gives you exactly what is says it will. There’s nothing new or interesting here; except, a gonzo performance by Jake Gyllenhaal. Even though the movie is too long at over two hours, it is not boring. It just is kind of unnecessary. Anyway, get a bowl of popcorn for a matinee viewing.